presence

Will you hold my hand…

Will you…
Hold my hand for a little while?
I don’t need you to save me
No need for you to fix anything
No need for you to hold my pain
But will you simply hold my hand?
I do not need your words
Your thoughts
Nor your shoulders to carry me
But will you sit here for a while with me?
Whilst my tears they stream
Whilst my heart it shatters
Whilst my mind plays tricks on me
Will you with your presence let me know that I am not alone, whilst I wander into my inner unknown?
For my darkness is mine to face
My pain is mine to feel
And my wounds are mine to heal
But will you sit with me here, while I courageously show up for it all my dear?
For I am bright because of my darkness
Beautiful because of my brokenness
And strong due to my tender heart
But will you take my hand lovingly, when I sometimes journey into the dark?
I don’t ask for you to take my darkness away
I don’t expect for you to brighten my day
And I don’t believe that you can mend my pain
But I would surely love if you could sit for a while and hold my hand, until I find my way out of my shadowland!
So will you…
Hold my hand until I return again?”~

~Zoe Johansen ~

Posting this poem as it is so fitting to the moment captured above between my dad and I on his last day here on Earth🙏

Day Light Robbery

Followed by the past
Regrets and sorrows
Allowing misdeeds to haunt 
And losses to be still mourned
 
Enticed into future unknowns
Anxiety brews and curdles
Then tighten like balls of rope 
Leaving you strangled 
 
Thus the theft goes on
Of simple joys of daily life 
Peace and delights of the night 
Left wide eyed yet seeing nothing 
 
Ways of the times
Add to the stealthy steal 
With incessant streaming
Procuring falsities, cloaked as realties
 
Living with this dichotomy 
The perfect portrayal  
The denied cracking shell
The emptiness deepens
 
The wealth of living
Thus robbed 
In broad daylight 
Voluntarily handed over
 
Man is left in his illusion 
Floundering with wolves at his heel
Questioning his purpose
Is there any way out?!
 
Is there no protection plan
From this theft
No solution to this anxiety 
To dissolve the pain
 
Yes, present and constant 
Granted at birth
Enjoyed most
As the carefree child
 
Willful to pursue and perceive
Simple wonders and delights
Joyful to embrace
Smiles, laughter and love
 
And free
From yesterday and tomorrow 
Living the only truth 
Found in the present of today
 
So be enamored
With what lays in the palm of the hand
Look back no longer 
And look forward only one step
 
Anchor in now
Allow no more theft
As the grandest of treasures
Is right here, right now!