He’s gone
A lifetime of 83 years
One last breath
And he’s gone
Absence
Silence
Reminders
And then the pain
With no time to absorb
No time to feel
Only the processes, the needs
Of affairs to be resolved
Dictating an attention
Refusing
Postponing
The grief
And now with only space
And a sudden influx of time
Comes the pain, the tears
For he really is gone
Will you…
Hold my hand for a little while?
I don’t need you to save me
No need for you to fix anything
No need for you to hold my pain
But will you simply hold my hand?
I do not need your words
Your thoughts
Nor your shoulders to carry me
But will you sit here for a while with me?
Whilst my tears they stream
Whilst my heart it shatters
Whilst my mind plays tricks on me
Will you with your presence let me know that I am not alone, whilst I wander into my inner unknown?
For my darkness is mine to face
My pain is mine to feel
And my wounds are mine to heal
But will you sit with me here, while I courageously show up for it all my dear?
For I am bright because of my darkness
Beautiful because of my brokenness
And strong due to my tender heart
But will you take my hand lovingly, when I sometimes journey into the dark?
I don’t ask for you to take my darkness away
I don’t expect for you to brighten my day
And I don’t believe that you can mend my pain
But I would surely love if you could sit for a while and hold my hand, until I find my way out of my shadowland!
So will you…
Hold my hand until I return again?”~
~Zoe Johansen ~
Posting this poem as it is so fitting to the moment captured above between my dad and I on his last day here on Earth🙏
Opulent plumage
Golden reflective salute
Mirroring the sun
The universe has conspired
Conspired for your existence
Not against you but for you
The coming together of time
The alignment of elements
Molecules, atoms,
Wind, air, dirt
Yes it has all conspired
That you may be here
That you may feel, see, think, love
Do you feel your existence
The rhythm in which you sway
Can you connect to your source
Can you find the wavelength
Where the eternal sits within you
Be still, be quiet
And the space will find you, hold you
Ironically coined is ‘mind-ful-ness’
As we know only too well
How to continuously over think
And invariably this leads to confusion
Doubt
And ultimately is limiting, crippling
Perhaps we need to be
More of ‘heart-ful-ness’
And less of mind
Heartfulness brings
Fruition to feelings
Of empathy, friendship, trust
Naturally bringing forth
Kindness, love, compassion
Unity and oneness
Which then allows a joyful contentment
A happy gratefulness
An ultimate peacefulness
Such a short distance
From heart to mind
Yet at times they seem as if a million miles apart
Sometimes we even confuse
One for the other
Do you know the difference in their voices?
One will say you must do this or that
The other will say nothing
Letting you feel your way there
Perhaps there are no right or wrongs
But be assured
When you listen to your heart
The answers will be waiting
And your peace and sanity
Have the chance to be restored
Witness the softness
Celebrate the gentleness
Feel the gratefulness
Rave of the age
Is to have ‘self care’
Put yourself first
Take care of you
And all can be well!
How?
Carve out time for you
Take a walk
Take a bath
Read a book
Do what speaks to you!
Yes notes of sarcasm
From the queen of self care
As all we are doing is running
Running from the negatives
Awkward situations
Stresses of life
The inescapables
And so the so called problems
Accompany you everywhere!
It’s the noise between the ears
The constant chatter
Clatter of thoughts
Fueling the emotions
Of anger, fear, jealousy and doubt
These you carry
Never abandon
To these thieves
We open the doors of our mind and heart
They counsel you
Convince you
Tell you your worth
Then they raid and rob you
Leaving you soulless
In despair, with frustration and anxiety
But there’s a larger vault
Deep, much deeper within
Which when opened
Releases a power
Gentle and expansive
Second to none
No matter where you stand
You can smile with understanding
Laugh with joy
And feel vibrantly alive
To recognize this gift
Lifts a veil
And the thieves then must scamper
From the generosity of the Giver
Comes these teachings of a lifetime
What a fortune to listen
To absorb
To feel, to understand
Just a little each and every day
Thank you Diane, holding this ornament has given me a beautiful moment in time to feel the lost physical contact with Dipak, my precious brother.
From a simple ritual
To the practicing yogi,
The one hundred and eight beads
Constitutes a time for intentional focus.
Initiated in the 8th century BC,
These spiritual beads in Hinduism
Now are used through Islam, Christianity
Buddhism, 2/3rds of the world’s population.
Whether wood, seed or stone
They shall deliver
Properties of healing, protection
And most commonly, spiritual practice.
I gift this to you,
So you can intentionally
Breathe 108 times
With vitality, feeling vibrancy.
Speak a mantra
Drawing you inwards.
Feel the earthly element
Connecting you to Mother Earth.
Simply put, I wish you
108 blessings,
108 guardians,
108 freed moments
Each and every day.
May you hold this mala
With the clarity it was made,
With the love it is sent,
And wisdom with which you shall use.
The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering ..
~ Ben Okri ~
To rise past all
That’s dares to smoother
The layers on layers
Commitments and constraints
To float above
The threat that tugs
The ties and chains
Of bonds and relations
To fly over
The snares invisible
The smoke and mirrors
The lies and illusions
Ah what relief
When the truth be known
To free my wings
To uncage my heart
What a virtue, what a trait
Independence!
Encouraged, applauded
Even envied
To stand on your own feet
To make and pave your own way
To rely on not a single soul
What an accomplishment!
But wait a minute!
Do you even open your eyes
Unless the sun
Comes peeking at your window
Bringing you a new day
How would you even get to bathe
Had the clouds not emptied
Or the snow not melted
So the streams could run and reservoirs rise
How would you smell your morning coffee
Had the sub-equatorial lands
Not grown and reaped the beans
Ground and brewed in your Keurig
What clothing would you don
Had the cotton not been picked
The yarns not been spun
Garments not been stitched
So in true essence
Are we really ‘independent’?
Or are we ‘interdependent’!
And if so, what have we understood?
Do we accept and realize
Our co-existence
Our co-dependency
Our inherent need for allegiance
With the natural world
The countries we have created
To our neighbors
To our own selves!
Taken for a ride
By the good old ego
We pride ourselves
With a claim to independence
Yet looking deeper
Within and around
We are part of a whole
Where even a breath
Is not under our control
The gift of all gifts
Sent magically into your being
Silently with no fanfare
It’s time to question
Time to ponder and reflect
What an incredible existence
Where everything is so magnanimous postured
That blinded we have become
To the interconnections
That’s serve to sustain
Our universal existence
Time to wake up
Not to just smell the roses
But care for the roses
And all else on this blue planet
Two mortals align
Embracing the immortal
Beauty beyond time
Unequivocal beauty
Blooming grace, like a dance
Drawing riches from the terra
Your petals defy the science
Fluttering delicately
Like wings of the butterfly
Yet with the strength of an army
You win each battle for my heart
How gloriously you entrance me
Leading back to simplicity of gratitude
Smiling outside and inward
Warmth of omnipresence made tangible
Photo by TW
In the grand scheme of this intriguing play
Perhaps we are insignificant
Like the little robin
In just another tree
Yet during the play
How positioned is he and we
To enjoy the array of fleeting pleasures
Dancing on the stage
From a hedge of roses
To fields of tulips
Mountain sides of poppies
And lakes skimmed with lotus
Where ever you may be
Rural or urban
Rustic or pristine
Don’t miss the current act
As some plays have one or two
Some three or four
But what is unknown
Is how many is yours!
Amidst the barren Trees, and dark threatening clouds, Gentle light prevails
Dedication in remembrance of my brother, Dipak💞
Zesty and vibrant,
Joyful winter reminder
Brightness can be found.
Perfectly balanced
Bedazzled with citrus gems
Strength, beauty bound in one
You the fragrant rose
Blooming under watchful eye
Of infinite love
From the Big Bang
To global warming,
We are here.
From evolution
To revolutions,
We fight to be here.
From independences
To globalization,
We speak up to be here.
From all things actualized
To their demise and re-emergence,
We continues to be here.
And so here we are
Encapsulating a gratitude,
Denoting a day.
To remember and share
The privileges, gift, abundances gathered
Over the history of mans toil.
All along, the almighty power
The indestructible,
Which was, is and will be
Sustains, an entire universe
A galaxy
An ecosystem.
Transferring, transmitting
Evolving, so life permits
That you and I can be.
Insufficient is then, a mere day of thanks.
Like life,
Let gratitude permeate each moment
Which comes from the deepest understanding,
Born from accepting our fragility,
And a graceful governance
Where the birds and bees,
Flowers and trees
To man himself,
Are all held,
Yet free
To live and be.
Photography by Asvina Brown
All facets of life
Incapsulated in a moment,
From undoubted beauty
To looming fears.
Voluminous clouds
Mightily they float,
Threatening to spew
And drown you out!
Yet the intrigue
Of color and form,
Capture both heart and breath,
A moment now, forever lived.
Do we more often
Get lost in fear?
Of what may come?
What may happen?
Forfeiting the present
In which we can feel
Simple joys,
Gratitude and inspirations.
This grand gesture of beauty
Is bequeathed each day,
As the love from within
Will shine in our eyes.
That guiding presence
Then shapes your day
As you see the treasure
Lined up for your pleasure.
They say it’s important
To acknowledge your feelings,
Mine burn deep
Searing like a heated knife.
Sadness, disappointment
Futility mixed with
Mayhem and barbarianism
The anguish insufferable
Simultaneously we are
Isolated, quarantined
Where will this all end?
Man’s eye like a microscope,
Disproportionately viewing life
Distorted by imagination
Enlarging the illusion.
With no regard
For the ‘third’ eye,
Where lies his clarity
Abundant and beyond compare.
I pray for a united return
Of humanity,
Kindness and peace
Simple joys.
Where greed, power
Egotism are quelled voluntarily,
As realized that we are nothing
But dust in the end.
Yet here we are,
Kings and queens
In a moment in time,
And granted pleasures in multitudes.
What can be that deciding factor
Whether we live in peace and harmony
Or divided and disgruntled?
Gazing up into the sky
The sun, moon and stars peacefully
Focused, levitate and orbit
Constant in their mission.
Down here on earth
I see the equilibrium of nature,
Of which I am a part
With a privy to consciousness.
Herein lies my blessing and solace,
For not only can I sing and dance along,
But also acknowledge the Orchestrator
The One to whom I benevolently belong.
My thoughts inspired by the RBG and current noise.
I speak
For when children
We’re only meant to be seen.
Obedience seen as a great virtue,
Not of the child
But perfect parenting.
The child conditioned
That those in authority , if happy,
Lead to their happiness.
I speak
For the young girl
Who has always waited second in line to the boy.
I speak
For the ethnic amongst us,
Chastised and ridiculed for our natural differences.
I speak
For the elderly, the poor, the veterans,
All those who’s voices are dismissed.
I speak
For all we have misunderstood,
For all we have had a hand in the making.
And now, I not only speak
But pray,
For a call to our senses, our consciousness.
With the raising of that conscious voice,
Only then will any speech
Be worthy for the time given to listen.
Dignity, driven to be attained by stature,
Letters behind the name
Certificates on the wall
Climbing the corporate ladder.
For some,
Dignity is synonymous with pride.
Endorsed by accolades and ‘likes’
Possessions and privileges.
Does more of anything
Really equate to dignity?
Perhaps to stand in front of a mirror
And look yourself in the eye.
Who is this person?
When stripped of titles, material possessions,
Even the relations of family-hood.
Dignity, is perhaps not a quality
But a by-product,
When one is able to have a sense of
Self worth and respect.
Should dignity not belong to all?
Despite circumstances of wealth
Identity of race, religion or sexual orientation.
How did we lose sight
Of our commonality?
And focus on only our differences?!
When the macro sphere has been reduced
Lost is the vision of the universe
Where we exist for less time than the snap of the fingers
And matter no more than any other dust.
Our vision has narrowed
And our true gift left unseen,
As we are held in the palm of existence
And bestowed with the dignity of life.
This is our identity
Life from the giver of life!
Can we accept the greatest of gift?
Do we recognize its preciousness!
To be granted this opportunity
This is what equates to self worth
Beyond any measure of wealth.
With this said,
Each man is equal
Being granted his time and opportunity
Of this here lifetime.
Allowing this to resonate,
Dignity then emanates from within
For oneself and every other living companion,
No matter the outward differences.
Defying physics you stand
Your strength is daunting
Your stature mighty
Yet here comes the ocean spray
Wave after wave
And you welcome the attention
You dance and yield
With the passion of lovers
And caressed are your contours
Your union brings forth
Countless grains of sand
Capturing the essence of time
With every turn
There is awe
In these simple cyclic laws
When elements work together
Magic happens
The impossible is possible
For how can a mighty rock
Be so transformed
Into the tiniest of particles
And no less
Than by drops of water
One wave at a time
And within me
One breath at a time
Is revealed a celebration
Of existence at its finest
Carrying a simple joy
Which even lapping waves can teach
You arrive and greet
This morning of Rakshabandan.
As always, in full bloom
With unequivocal light and love.
This symbolic yellow rose
Stops me in my tracks
As you, brother, embodied
It’s rich depth and warmth.
Saving me from my sorrow
I see how love transverses all.
Physically no longer side by side
Yet our spirits still unite.
Our bond is clear
My brother dear,
As you remain with and between us,
Your loving sisters.
Today is Rakshabandan, the day of celebrating the bond between a brother and sister. The yellow rose is the symbol, my two sisters and I chose, that represents our departed beloved brother, Dipak.
From an unknowing third party, what should the universe send my way today of all days, but a yellow rose surrounded equally by three buds! What an image of our sibling unity!
What gathers together
Giving rise
To that one feeling
Of being in the right place?
No words needed
As all in the glance
Is acknowledgement, respect
Perhaps even an adoration.
Flourish here
Does the calm,
The peace
More so a mutual love.
Bestow on the self
The same gratuitous presence
And feel yourself at home
Welcomed, received and loved.
Here lies a bond
With no bondage,
A relationship
With no need for any rules.
Belief and faith perhaps
The stepping stones for most,
But this inner knowledge is to be reached
With an ardent and persistent thirst.
Let then the magic
From the ultimate connection
Release it’s power supreme
Second to no other.
So accept and harness
Your own ‘Genius Loci’
And bask in the stream
Of the greatest of loves.
Original artwork of myself and my companion of a short time, Duchess, who claimed my backyard as her home for the last two and half years of her life.
Five seas
Seven continents
Countless countries
And seven billion faces
Of all the possibilities
You and I meet!
Short acquaintances
Long friendships
Pleasant affairs
Awkward collisions
Personal or political
Social or historical
The issues are many
And repeated generationally
Attracting and repelling
Sometimes reoccurring
Encounters test and teach
But are we ready for the learning
For the snapshot
Of our existence
What will we gain
What legacy will be changed
Whether we live
Loud and large
Or quiet and small
One thing is for sure
As we came
We shall leave
So as we meet
Let’s share a seed
The seed of kindness
With a listening ear
A supportive hand
And a wish for good stewardship
Hence, may we deserve to live
Upon this ‘pale blue dot’
And on exiting
Leave it the same if not a speck better
Nature’s protection
Brings peace and oblivion
From man made madness
June you mark the middle
Of a year
That has everyone
In quiet the pickle.
The unpredictable,
The unprecedented,
The insurmountable,
The game changers.
All in one
They are happening,
The noise deafening
The footprints indelible.
Biological or social
Emotional or political,
The fight for survival
The core of the struggle.
With debates and protests
Even the riots,
How can we possibly
Claim any rest.
Feeling the injustice
The denial, the inequality
With deep woven roots,
Perpetuating the atrocities.
Even with fight
Guided by knowledge,
Changes still need
Clarity and quietness
To allow the most powerful
To rise,
To be felt
To be seen.
So how to find
In these dark times
The magic of love?
The peace of love?
It must be the only way
The ancient way.
So go within to the core
Ground and center.
Move with that one
Rhythmic flow
Never to judge
Only to bestow.
Life, opportunity
Abundance of choice.
Breath is this anchor
Breath is the answer.
What seems so insignificant
Holds all that is magnificent,
Delve deep, delve often
Keep company
Of the one companion.
So her treasures
Maybe realized
And your peace will unfold.
Oh poppy, you rise to bloom
With petals of royal red
And the deepest dark core
Giving unambiguous symbolism
Signature of reverence
For those never to be forgotten
You embody a pained dignity
In the midst
Of life’s most difficult times
You show me strength
With your inherent form
As you adorn my lapel
You drive me to confront
My challenges
And learn from your qualities
Remembrance:
Painful to embrace
But laced, she is, with deep love
Dignity:
Humanity’s stature
Measured by compassion
Clarity:
The fruit of growth
Despite the desire to revert
Poppy dear,
You’re nature’s gift
As you grace my garden
And bring gratitude to my heart.
How is it that we’ve lost sight
Of knowing what we have,
This ultimate gift
The greatest blessing called life.
Yet, soon as we are reminded,
With pains and loses
At home and afar,
We acknowledge this truth.
That yes, we are indeed alive,
Yes, how fortunate we are.
Then why do we behave,
Behave so abominably?
We allow material possessions
Personal prestige,
Judgement and ridicule,
To feature throughout the day.
Has the truth of ‘living’
Dawned with you today?
Or is it merely a fleeting thought
Occurring on some days.
When the depth of yearning
To know the infinite,
And humility entwine,
A knowledge of old
Comes to be learnt.
That you are indeed,
An image
Of all that is clarity,
Understanding
And almighty.
Then unfolds
The gifts sublime
That only your ‘senses’
Privilege you to behold.
Feelings of gratitude
Surface to obliterate
The space occupied by sorrow.
Joy bubbles
Where misery once stood,
Compassion flourishes
Eating away the roots of greed and fear.
And love’s light surrounds
To vanquish the darkness.
So in May, learn knowledge
Of the life force within.
So you may sense
As only your humanity enables.
In the dark,
Shivering and cold,
I remember you.
Laughed at, ridiculed
Ashamed.
Needing to disappear,
I remember you.
Searching for that look
Of approval.
Wanting that comforting
Hug.
Instead,
Feeling unseen
And left behind.
Now all grown up.
But I still remember you.
I remember you
Because I was you.
I saw you
And I see you now.
I held you
And I hold you still.
With a kindness,
A guidance,
A protection
Divine,
I have grown.
Grown to know
The great power of true love.
The kind that holds
The stars in place,
The sun at bay,
The moon for play.
Is this a fairytale
Or supreme astrophysics?
Either way
I must be loved.
How else
Could I be protected,
Be free to witness
Explore and come to know
The Might.
That surrounds
Nurtures and holds,
Both me and the stars.
With the unexpected
Mandatory isolations,
Arrives a resurrection
Of lifestyles of old.
Families gather
Breakfast, lunch and dinner.
The elderly are watched over
With keenness and compassion.
The poor and homeless
Fed and sheltered.
Communities work
With united forces.
With efforts big and small
True mindfulness and consciousness
Regain strength and center stage.
Within the self
Something deep is touched,
Stirred and begs to rise
As another resurrection.
Stripped of the usual noise
Busy-ness and distractions,
There is an exposure
Of the decluttered self.
The self that knows consciousness
That feels the depth of gratitude
That recognizes the greatest love
Of the One who always cares.
With no concepts to cloud
And only a few and basic
Needs to be addressed,
The obvious is made clear.
The preciousness
Of the ultimate gift
Yet non-permanence
And fragility of life.
The question begged to be asked.
What is it that you resurrect?
Your goals and ambitions?
Your achievements and certificates?
Neither past nor future matter.
The unexpendable commodity
Is this moment now.
The frame of existence.
Resurrect your being
The qualities that enliven you
Not by what surrounds
But by what lays within.
Allow in this quiet time
Listening to the voice
Lost in the usual noise.
And resurrect what you know
You’ve always been.
Most all warriors through history
Have been armed,
Carrying weapons of the era
Swords, bayonets to machine guns.
Patrolling and confronting
Ready to destruct or be destructed,
With nerves of steel
Conditioned through training.
Today, the insipid enemy
With no face or form.
Is quiet to arrive
Slow to show its presence,
Allowing time to infiltrate
Spreading wide and far.
Infects and destructs
The unlikely to likely.
Warriors have been summoned,
They wear no camouflage
They rage no war
They have no weapons.
She/he is my brother, sister, mother,
Father, aunt or neighbor.
They bring to force
Their daily expertise.
From farmers to grocers
To store cashiers.
From EMT to nurses,
And doctors.
With an endless list
The warriors of the war
Novel, like the enemy,
Rise to the call.
Unprepared
And without combat gear
Or training,
And most of all
Being blindsided
And abandoned in the trenches.
They are truly
Novel.
As always
There are those behind the frontline
Manufacturing , packing
Delivering, fixing
Communicating, supporting.
But the unseen hero
Will be the ones to heed
When nothing else can be done;
The act
Of social distancing,
Isolating to quarantining.
For this is no one man show.
It is only in unison
That we can bind
Our resources
Of endurance,
Hope
Courage
And humanity.
To defeat and rise,
With the least of casualties
This novel virus, COVID 19.
For some,
I am a representation
Of their enamor with another.
Comes natural to the hermit
Enforced on the convicted.
A sort of imprisonment
Intended to safe guard.
And today,
The likes of me and you
With access to the essentials
Water, food and light.
But little preparation
With unheeded forewarning,
The mind is unconditioned
The body unable to relax.
As sources of entertainment fade
The confines close in,
And the loss of freedoms
Begin to set in.
What is most amiss?
The face to face
To see and feel
To interact, to feel of significance.
At heart we are social.
Beings in need of beings.
So here lies opportunity
To reach out in solidarity.
Break free of the concepts,
Traits of greed and fear.
Evolve to enable
Humanity at its best.
Perhaps the greatest outcome
Is yet to be seen,
As from our strife and grief
We learn the truest meaning
Of the real ‘Shelter in Home’.
For you are the home
Where the grandest one
Chooses to reside.
So take the time now given,
To acquaint and befriend.
Meditate in your solace
On the place most neglected.
Uncover your buried gifts
Your allies, your strengths
Your inner peace and joys.
The key to this realm
Is to deflect and rebuke
The noise, the distractions
Of the exterior, the illusions.
With these layers
Of shelter in home,
Be kind
Be gracious
Be in gratitude.
For you are ‘home’
And in home
Of the greatest of arms.
From the maddening crowds
Masked with mayhem,
To voluntary quarantine
And prohibited movement
The making of mass hysteria.
Heads rise above the cellphone
Our seeming invincibility
Suddenly cracked open
Finally we see each other.
Is it with empathy or fear?
Is it with comradeship or disdain?
With opposing forces
Hand in hand
How are we to survive?
How are we to accept them all?
Looking to Mother Nature
She shows constant dichotomies
Where the unlikely
Co-habit and even thrive.
On the hardened brittle bark
Beauty resides
As blooms spring forth
Soft and sumptuous.
From murky stagnant pools
Emerge the pristine lotus flowers,
No looking back or down
Just rising with a divine grace.
So this March
Is like no other,
Tests and trials
All yet to come.
Let not madness reign
As the confusion may prevail,
Rather rise with fortitude
And generosity of heart.
What comes, must pass
So lose not sight,
And ask of yourself
What are my powers
Which are constant,
Restoring and sustaining.
rhythmandthedancer 