He’s gone
A lifetime of 83 years
One last breath
And he’s gone
Absence
Silence
Reminders
And then the pain
With no time to absorb
No time to feel
Only the processes, the needs
Of affairs to be resolved
Dictating an attention
Refusing
Postponing
The grief
And now with only space
And a sudden influx of time
Comes the pain, the tears
For he really is gone
Will you…
Hold my hand for a little while?
I don’t need you to save me
No need for you to fix anything
No need for you to hold my pain
But will you simply hold my hand?
I do not need your words
Your thoughts
Nor your shoulders to carry me
But will you sit here for a while with me?
Whilst my tears they stream
Whilst my heart it shatters
Whilst my mind plays tricks on me
Will you with your presence let me know that I am not alone, whilst I wander into my inner unknown?
For my darkness is mine to face
My pain is mine to feel
And my wounds are mine to heal
But will you sit with me here, while I courageously show up for it all my dear?
For I am bright because of my darkness
Beautiful because of my brokenness
And strong due to my tender heart
But will you take my hand lovingly, when I sometimes journey into the dark?
I don’t ask for you to take my darkness away
I don’t expect for you to brighten my day
And I don’t believe that you can mend my pain
But I would surely love if you could sit for a while and hold my hand, until I find my way out of my shadowland!
So will you…
Hold my hand until I return again?”~
~Zoe Johansen ~
Posting this poem as it is so fitting to the moment captured above between my dad and I on his last day here on Earth🙏
The universe has conspired
Conspired for your existence
Not against you but for you
The coming together of time
The alignment of elements
Molecules, atoms,
Wind, air, dirt
Yes it has all conspired
That you may be here
That you may feel, see, think, love
Do you feel your existence
The rhythm in which you sway
Can you connect to your source
Can you find the wavelength
Where the eternal sits within you
Be still, be quiet
And the space will find you, hold you
Thank you Diane, holding this ornament has given me a beautiful moment in time to feel the lost physical contact with Dipak, my precious brother.
Dedication in remembrance of my brother, Dipak💞
You arrive and greet
This morning of Rakshabandan.
As always, in full bloom
With unequivocal light and love.
This symbolic yellow rose
Stops me in my tracks
As you, brother, embodied
It’s rich depth and warmth.
Saving me from my sorrow
I see how love transverses all.
Physically no longer side by side
Yet our spirits still unite.
Our bond is clear
My brother dear,
As you remain with and between us,
Your loving sisters.
Today is Rakshabandan, the day of celebrating the bond between a brother and sister. The yellow rose is the symbol, my two sisters and I chose, that represents our departed beloved brother, Dipak.
From an unknowing third party, what should the universe send my way today of all days, but a yellow rose surrounded equally by three buds! What an image of our sibling unity!
In the dark,
Shivering and cold,
I remember you.
Laughed at, ridiculed
Ashamed.
Needing to disappear,
I remember you.
Searching for that look
Of approval.
Wanting that comforting
Hug.
Instead,
Feeling unseen
And left behind.
Now all grown up.
But I still remember you.
I remember you
Because I was you.
I saw you
And I see you now.
I held you
And I hold you still.
With a kindness,
A guidance,
A protection
Divine,
I have grown.
Grown to know
The great power of true love.
The kind that holds
The stars in place,
The sun at bay,
The moon for play.
Is this a fairytale
Or supreme astrophysics?
Either way
I must be loved.
How else
Could I be protected,
Be free to witness
Explore and come to know
The Might.
That surrounds
Nurtures and holds,
Both me and the stars.
rhythmandthedancer 