Pain

Tears flow
Empty space,
Tears drained
Empty space.

Heart aches
Lonesomeness,
Heart hardened
Lonesomeness.

Eyes search
What futility!
Eyes beg
What futility!

Can I
Be consoled?
Can anyone
Be consoled?

Memories
Flood with pain.
Pain
Slowly lapped by sweet memories.

Deep within
Strength feels stolen,
Deep within
Strength yet stirs.

Embers rustle
Fire re-ignites,
Embers stoked
Life rekindled

Life, my one companion,
Please hold me
So I feel held.
Perhaps only then,
Pain may subside.

Brother Mine

Standing in your window.
Looking up,
I see your rainbows
Grey clouds and crows.

Looking down,
Garden flowers
Weeds and dustbins.
Wooden bench you built.

I hear the drift of tunes whistled,
Guitar strummed
Barking dogs
Children running.

Imagining voices heard
With orders barked.
Questions.
Where you are?
What you doing?
How long will you be?

Yet, Intuitive, kindly, you
Made school runs,
Senior drop off
Prescription pick up
Tiffin collections.

Innovative, cleverly
Business partnerships
Rental landlord,
Humble volunteer
Avid charity mogul.

Socially charming
Coffee mate
Beer buddy
Fancy date
Adventurous companion.

Did living and the living
Grate your nerves?
Was it chaotic?
Was it tiresome?

With all the doings
All the beings
Essence was missing, lost.
We are not the sum
Of successes or failures.
Yet one too many of any
And the pot can brew over,
And all is burnt away.

You leave me no choice.
In your memory
I shall love
I shall live
Wild and full.
And my tales
I’ll still tell you,
Be them without FaceTime or text
Be them without laughter between
Our eyes and face.

You’ve left this place
Our home together
Your room,
Once my old room.
How can this be!
Yet it is.

Hoping my reminiscing,
My processing and planning,
My tears and questioning,
Disturbs you not.
Darling brother of mine
Now you are gone,
Please Rest In Peace.

 

Law is law!

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A law is a law
Is a law
Is a law!

Or is it?!

‘Every law has an exception’
Has it not?!
Or is it just a loophole?
A smart ass lawyer?
A way not to comply?!

But wait!
There is one law
Undeniable
Irrefutable
Just damned unbreakable!

Here name is Morticia
She readies herself
As soon as you arrive,
As she knows one day
She can sweep by
And swoop you away!

Or can she?!

Taught by the saints
The pandits, the mystics
The lot!
‘The day you came
Seals the deal
To the day
You must go!’

Infusing the fear
The concepts
The traps.
The great dichotomies
Of there is heaven and hell
There is life
There is death!

But wait!
Is there not the ‘circle’
The ‘circle of life’!
Just as the sun rises, it to sets
And as it sets so it rises.
The tide flows and then ebbs
And ebbs so it flows.
The moon waxes and then wanes
To wane, then wax.

Is Man, this human life, the exception
With such finality as death!
Is this all the greatness?
That the mind
Can give?!

Death, disappearance of form
Leaving corpse, leaving dust.
Are we to trust these eyes?
Just because
They see me no longer,
Means no longer am I ?!
Does the earth get lighter
With every departed soul?
Heavier with every
Arriving babe?!

What nonsense is death!
Given mighty stature
Given mighty rule,
Making you cower and crawl
Leaving you shallow and small.

Death is merely opposite to birth
In this circle of life.
As roses are to mulch
Mulch is to roses.
Great icebergs to water
Water to ice.
Mountainous cliff sides to sand
Sand to cliffs.
Think a little further
What happens to Man!

‘The departed never leave,
They live in your remembrance, your soul’
This energy of life
Is omnipresent for all.

Like it or not
Understand it or not
We are all but one,
And of the grandest of One!

No law to defy
No law to prove
Ask of yourself the answer
And truth shall be yours.

Gone but not Lost

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Number of days shorten
A shining light begins to fade.
Bearers assembled
Eulogies sing out.

Absence marked
At dining tables,
End of text and phone lines.
Keys, cars and clothes
All untouched.

Cried and uncried tears
All await their turns.
Triggers.
Simple stories and songs
Photographs and jokes.

Oh my lovely!
Where art thou now?
Among the stars?
Flying with the angels?
Watching over me?

Something tells me
My yearn
My memories
Of what we’ve shared,
Is my solace.

Your presence
No longer physical,
But still remains
Warm, charming
Undeniably lovable.

You live on, my dear.
Maybe not as I once knew.
But now, in a new phase
Here for me to face.

I learn anew
Life always goes on
Presence changes form
True love never ends,
And you and I
Will always be one.

 

Regal Lily

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Standing tall
In all her glory,
Bearing her core
Revealing her story.

Once a bud
Now in maturity,
Rich in elegance
Yet humbled by mortality.

From inner core
To edge of petals,
Spectrum of hues
Strength in depth.

Spring’s chilly dawns
Or sudden April showers,
All weathered through
With promise of sun’s sheltering.

Let her life story
Yield comfort and challenge,
For as she cycles through
So shall you…

Climb

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Smiles, humor, sarcasm
Numbing facade
Looking up, looking in
Masking, masking the pain

Each day
Promise made
‘I’m OK’
“I AM OK”!

Each night, defeated
Demons crawling
Raging discontent
Useless numbing

Hard to swallow
Impossible to cry
Heartbeat imploding
Mind hurtling

Tools employees
Moments of relief
Comfort appreciated
Gratitude known

Yet recycled
Each day the climb
Survival unknown
Too hard to keep letting go

So in need of sharing
Just a little kindness
Just a little care
Making the infinite difference

Holding close
My worthiness
Confronting the change
Keeping light in sight

The seeds well sown
The need too great
Incremental changes
Alls in motion

Grasping at any strand
Any tendril of hope
Blowing my way
In the wind of life

The task at hand
Seems so huge
Yet greater still
Is Divine’s own call

The course is steep
Summit hard to reach
But I will,  without a doubt
Just so long, as I keep it all in sight